Take All of Us by Natalie Leif

Author:Natalie Leif [Leif, Natalie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Holiday House
Published: 2024-06-04T00:00:00+00:00

THIRTEEN

Zoey had a car: a bluish sedan with a dented passenger door and a Jesus Saves bumper decal, that I low-key doubted she actually owned. She wrenched open the driver’s side door in a plume of dried mud and wintergreen air freshener. Then, when she saw me tugging at the rusted passenger side handle, she wrenched it open, too, with a low crack and several jerking, squealing movements of the hinge.

God, she was strong.

I skittered inside, nestling against the cupholders in a seat too low and too reclined, that I didn’t dare move enough to adjust.

Were Monica and Angel awake yet, I wondered? Had they noticed I wasn’t with them anymore? I almost asked Zoey to detour back to the hospital, let me explain the situation a little...but one look at the hard set in her scowl and I knew better than to push for yet another favor.

Just had to make this quick, then. Get back before they woke up and started to worry too much.

We started moving and I twisted, trying to see where we might be going, but all I could see from my angle were rolling blue skies and the occasional treetop outside. My only clue—and I held on to it like a prayer—was what she’d said outright: You think we’d still be meandering around this dump if he didn’t love you?

Meaning that, wherever Eric was now, it was somewhere in Kittakoop. Not too far to turn back for the others.

(And meaning that he loved me.)

I couldn’t decide if I should be excited or terrified. I settled on both, swallowing them down in rapid breaths through my nose.

Sure, I’d been all confidence and speeches back in the woods, but to say I had no idea what I was doing would be the worst sort of understatement. I couldn’t even think about what I was doing. If I focused too long on anything, I wouldn’t stop focusing on it, stressing over it until it broke. Everything bounced around my head like popcorn kernels, skittering around a steady microwave hum of white noise.

What am I gonna say to him? Zoey’s right, I shouldn’t force him into anything. I don’t want him pulled into watching me die.

But I do, I do! I don’t wanna die alone. I want to be with him and I want support, I want someone who always knows how to solve problems, even if it hurts him—

That’s a horrible thing to do to him!

I DON’T CARE.

That’s not loving him, though, is it? That’s just loving what he can do for me. Even if I’m trying to be more selfish, I gotta draw a line somewhere, right? I can’t drag the people I love into suffering.

Wait, is my phone still charged? I still need to call Mom and Dad and Emma, if I’m gonna be pulling the people I love into this.

I should’ve given Monica and Angel my phone number, too. Then I wouldn’t have to worry that they don’t know what’s happening—

Never mind that, where are we GOING?

What am I gonna DO?

As it turned out, the car ride lasted maybe ten minutes.

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